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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?